Has it come to this? - by Ian "The Original Thrilla in Manilla" Esputé

This evening I watched a newsstory on Calgary's City TV news, one that was intended to be heartwarming amidst the numerous stories of violence, greed and irrelevance that fill Alberta's newscasts. Tonight's story was the story of a lovable dog named Rascal.

Rascal is a 13-year-old bichon frisé, and wouldn't you know it, this poor animal has nasal cancer. Now, let me clarify that I wish in no way to mock the unfortunate creature. Rather, I seek to ridicule the priorities and sensibilities of humans. Whereas most people would look down at poor Rascal, who has just coughed up a tumor on the carpet in the front hall and is clearly not doing so hot, then take the dog to the vet and after learning about its cancer would decide maybe it's best to put the poor dog out of its pain, such is not the case with the loving owners of the aforementioned dog. No, they have coughed up 5000 bucks to give Rascal the best treatment money can buy at a local veterinary centre: radiation treatment.

This raises a couple issues, at least in my mind.

There is a waiting list for dogs to be treated at this centre. People are queuing to give 5000 bucks to these people to blast it with radiation, so that they can bring the mutt home on evenings and weekends to smother it with affection and breathe in the delicious radiation. If you asked these people to donate $5000 to the Canadian Cancer Society just once, or even spaced out over a 20 year period, they'd tell you right off and then perhaps remorsefully give you 20 bucks to make up for their former sharpness. You almost get furious at this, but then you see the family's three hastily set up pictures of Rascal on a bookshelf, and you realise just how much this dog means to them.

I heard someone say, once, that animals here have more rights than people and that animals' lives have more value than humans'. And you know what? That someone was right. Believe it or not, there is a man I work with that is 74 years old. He is in need of a hip replacement, but he can't get it, because at his age, the system doesn't think that it's worth the time and money to let an otherwise able senior walk. Now, let's look back at Rascal. This dog is well past his sell-by date. He's 13. But, with animals, if you've got the cash, the vet will GLADLY take your money. There's a tip, kids. Veterinary Medicine is the field to go into! Unlimited money! If people are willing to give you the cash, sure, zap that dog with radiation! It's lucky to still be alive anyway? Oh, don't worry. We'll take great care of it. Do people really have this much money to throw around on pets?

Some of you may think that I'm some animal-hating jerk, but that's far from the truth. In my time I have owned a bunch of birds, hamsters, gerbils, fish, turtles, cats and a dog. When my dog got sick at about age 11 from what I believe was some affliction of the kidneys, I was the one that made the executive decision to put the dog down. Why prolong the agony of the poor thing at great cost for what may only amount to a few months more life? I think some people just really need to give their head a shake. And on that note, I'm starting to save now for 20 years time when my cat is 21 and in dire need of a triple bypass after a life of living in a small apartment eating nothing but Golden Oreos and Fancy Feast.