Punch the keys, for G-d's sake! - a Jon Thompson joint

If Finding Forrester has taught me anything, it's that the key to writing is to write.

Ironically, I have now spent about ten minutes staring at the first sentence of this post, and wondering what I was going to write about. Let me begin by explaining that there are, generally speaking, three types of blogs:

1) The "What I Had for Breakfast" Blog
2) The "Just Off the Wire" Blog, and
3) The "Special Interest" Blog

The term "What I Had for Breakfast Blog" was coined by former Golden Words editor Richard in order to illustrate that most of the blogiverse is wasted space.

Strengths:

• The WIHfBB documents how the author spends EVERY WAKING MOMENT, thus eliminating the need to make small talk at parties. Inquisitive party-goers who are literate and internet-savvy are handed business cards with the blog's URL, and told to do their own goddamned research. Grandparents, small children, the blind, and those too poor for home internet service will be given the neglect they deserve.

Weaknesses:

• Unless the author regularly consumes endangered species under mustard on toast with foreign dignitaries, these blogs are usually irrelevant and painful to read.

The "Just Off the Wire" blog takes headlines and stories from the news, and provides scathing commentary.

Strengths:

• Can't think of a single one, actually.

Weaknesses:

• Very few people provide insight that can't already be found elsewhere. If the blogger were any good at writing this style of blog, they would already have a job with CNN or CBC Newsworld instead of suffering the indignity of explaining their unique political views to the patrons they wait on at Shoeless Joe's.

The "Special Interest" blog is a lot like the "Just Off the Wire" blog, but deals with very specific subject matter.

Strengths:

• Even Rubik's Cube enthusiasts, (or, as they prefer to be called, "Cubethusiasts") deserve to find a home on the internet.

Weaknesses:

• Nobody sees a Rubik's Cube blog and then becomes deeply engrossed in Cube Culture. Rubik's Cube blogs only serve people who have an existing RC fetish, likely caused by parents who didn't love them. Instead of drawing the public in, the community gets stagnant and inbred as an insert simile here.

Anyway, the point is, I don't blog as often as I should because I don't really feel like my daily thoughts have any great bearing on the world. I'm going to begin to write them down more often, though, because the fact that anyone might read them is demonstrative of...

Fuck, I don't know. I'm going to sleep.