The Lady Byng of Bloggers - Ian

I receive a phone call this afternoon from Jon while I walked home from work. He asked me if I could post today because his lack of internet and potential booty would make it impossible for him to keep up the challenge. Could I do this? Otherwise, he would be forced to concede defeat. I doted on this briefly before deciding I want to keep this thing going. Admittedly, the quality of our work has ranked somewhere between shit and rancid shut covered in toenails and vomit, but we've done more writing in the past month than in the past year and a half, I would guess.

I did ask him first, though, why he had no internet tonight. His friend to whom he refers, whose internet he usurps when required for posting, needs the internet as he has a big day ahead of him tomorrow. (Good luck, Dave!) And this evening, he had what I'm guessing is either a date or appointment with a "lady friend." What, she doesn't have internet? Here's something I've learned in my quarter-century +1 year on this planet:

Ladies are totally turned on by bloggers. The following is based on a real conversation (sort of like how "Troy" was based on the Homeric epics):

Me: "Oh, hey baby, I've got something important I have to do here first."
She: "What is it, hun? I've got something for you, and it's hot and between my legs."
Me: "Mmm, I like the sound of that. But, I've got this blog I have to update before midnight."
She: "But it's only 8:30..."
Me: "Hey, I know, babe, but it's an important challenge with no monetary wager I can't lose."
She: "Oh, I love it when you talk that way. Blogging is so fucking hot."
Me: "Yeah, I know you love it. So, let's postpone this sexing up of the place for a couple of hours while I brainstorm and look up articles to comment wittily about."
She: "You are a fucking sex ANIMAL!"
Me: "Stay hot."

Every time it goes like that, I shit you not. Ladies love bloggers. I had hoped Jon would attempt this tactic himself, but no dice.

So, here I am, passing on this bit of wisdom to you, our loyal reader. And because I know you want to know, Jon claims he will be back on Friday. Peace out.